When I was eighteen, I converted to a radicalized form of evangelical Christianity. By nineteen, I was married. By twenty-one, I gave birth to my first of three children. Ten years later, I was divorced, dealing with relational and religious trauma, and figuring out how to support myself as a single mother after never having a career.

As a woman with no training on how to live as a woman in the world, ending a bad marriage, with a history of being told that I wasn’t desirable or capable, I had NO idea what I was doing. Hell, I had no idea if I was worthy of doing much of anything. But one of my best qualities is my deep belief that I will always figure things out. So I moved forward.

I jumped into an MMA/self-defense gym, with no experience and gained not only a blue belt in MMA, but a deep conviction of my own power and a devotion to my body.

After my divorce, I was hell-bent on having a career that would support me to be as independent as possible. So I watched Youtube on nights and weekends to train myself on user experience design. After dozens of rejections, and a ton of my own learning and side projects, I landed a six-figure role as a designer, where I’ve thrived and embodied my own power as a creative and income-generator.

And in the midst of it all, I enrolled in an intensive tantric and somatic coaching program that required me to do hours of practices and healing work every day for two years. Through this program, I learned about attachment wounding, relational trauma, leveraging pleasure for healing, and all the tools for handling sexuality and relationships.

Now, I have a wildly happy partnership with a man that I adore and respect. I have deep friendships with women who celebrate and lift each other up. And most importantly, I have myself. Feeling alive, pleasure-filled, and thrilled for the future is my normal.

I learned that to really thrive in life isn’t about chasing love or validation, but about investing massively in understanding, nurturing and growing yourself.